Let’s just say it out loud: wedding toasts are rarely the best part of the reception.
They can be lovely. They can be meaningful. But more often than not? They’re nerve-wracking for the speakers, awkward for the guests, and a momentum killer right when the party is getting good.
So here’s a suggestion I give couples all the time (and one I wish more people embraced):
move the wedding toasts to the rehearsal dinner.
Not skip them. Not water them down. Just put them where they actually shine.
Let’s talk about why this works so well.
Less Nerves = Better Speeches
Public speaking is terrifying for a lot of people. Now add:
- A microphone
- 150+ people staring
- The pressure of “this has to be perfect”
- Alcohol
- The knowledge that this moment is being recorded forever
That’s a recipe for shaky hands and racing hearts.
At the rehearsal dinner, the energy is completely different. The room is smaller. The people are familiar. The stakes feel lower. Speakers are far more relaxed – and when people are relaxed, they’re funnier, more heartfelt, and way more themselves.
The result? Wedding toasts that feel genuine instead of rehearsed or panicked.
The People Who Care Most Are Actually Listening
Here’s another truth: not everyone at your wedding reception is emotionally invested in a 7-minute speech.
Cousins you haven’t seen in ten years? Work friends? Plus-ones? They’re happy for you – but they’re also checking the bar line and wondering when dinner starts.
At the rehearsal dinner, the room is full of your inner circle. The people who raised you, grew up with you, stood by you, and truly know your story. When they hear toasts, they’re locked in. No clinking silverware. No side conversations. No restless shifting in chairs.
Your words land the way they’re meant to.
It Doesn’t Kill the Reception Flow (or the Mood)
From an experience standpoint, this is a big one.
Wedding receptions have momentum. Cocktail hour leads into dinner. Dinner leads into dancing. And right when guests are ready to move, laugh, and celebrate… everything stops.
Lights up. Music off. Everyone sits back down.
Moving wedding toasts to the rehearsal dinner means:
- Dinner flows faster
- The dance floor opens sooner
- The energy stays high
- The party doesn’t stall
Your wedding reception gets to feel like a celebration instead of a stop-and-start program.
You Actually Get to Be Present
During reception toasts, couples are often:
- Holding their breath
- Worried about timing
- Nervous about what someone might say
- Watching the clock
At the rehearsal dinner, you’re already in a slower, more intimate headspace. You can laugh. Cry. Hug your people. Actually feel what’s being said instead of bracing for what comes next.
It becomes a memory you experience…not one you survive.
The Toasts Can Be Longer (and That’s Okay)
At a wedding reception, there’s constant pressure to keep things short. DJs are watching timelines. Caterers are waiting. Guests are getting antsy.
At a rehearsal dinner? There’s breathing room.
People can tell stories. They can wander a little. They can be sentimental without worrying about holding up the dance floor. And because the audience is smaller and invested, it works.
Longer toasts feel intentional instead of indulgent.
Why Toasts Are Actually Hard to Photograph (and Usually Look Awkward)
Let’s talk about the part no one mentions: wedding toasts are some of the hardest moments to photograph well.
People assume they’ll get these emotional, cinematic images of heartfelt speeches. What actually happens most of the time?
- Speakers staring down at phones or crumpled notes
- Mouths open mid-sentence
- Guests frozen in listening mode, not reacting
- People clinking silverware or chewing
- A videographer’s camera and mic stand parked front and center
Photographers end up playing a weird game of “make it look like they’re not actively talking,” which is… a challenge. The moments are meaningful, sure – but visually, they’re often static, cluttered, and hard to make feel natural.
And let’s be honest: toasts are really for video. The words matter more than the visuals. The laughter, the cadence, the stories – that’s what video captures best. From a photo standpoint, they rarely deliver the same payoff as moments where people are moving, reacting, hugging, and celebrating.
That’s another reason moving toasts to the rehearsal dinner makes sense. The emotional weight stays intact, and the wedding day photos stay focused on moments that actually translate beautifully in still images.
A Few Ways to Do This Thoughtfully
If you’re considering moving toasts to the rehearsal dinner, here are a few easy guidelines:
- Let speakers know ahead of time (this helps their nerves too)
- Keep wedding-day toasts minimal or skip them entirely
- If needed, do one short welcome toast at the reception
- Embrace the intimacy of the rehearsal dinner setting
There’s no rulebook. Just choices that serve the experience you want.
Your wedding day doesn’t need to include everything. It just needs to include what matters most—done well.
Moving toasts to the rehearsal dinner creates space for deeper connection, smoother flow, and a reception that feels joyful instead of interrupted.
And honestly? Your future selves (and your guests) will thank you.
If you want a wedding that feels intentional, present, and fun as hell, this is one tradition worth rethinking.
Want Rehearsal Dinner Coverage Anyway?
If toasts are deeply important to you and you do want them documented – rehearsal dinner coverage can absolutely be added on. It’s a great way to capture those moments intentionally, in a smaller setting, without sacrificing the flow (or vibe) of your wedding day.
Just something to keep in your back pocket.
Reach out here.
