If you’re planning a wedding, you’ve probably already run into the First Look debate. Some people swear by it. Others feel very strongly about seeing their partner for the first time at the aisle. And then there’s the middle-ground option a lot of couples don’t realize exists: the First Touch.
There’s no “right” answer here. But there are real pros, cons, and timeline implications that are worth understanding before you decide. Let’s break it all down in plain English.
What Is a First Look?
A First Look is when you and your partner see each other privately before the ceremony. It’s usually scheduled earlier in the day, after you’re fully dressed and ready, and happens away from guests.
This moment is intentionally calm. No crowd. No pressure. Just the two of you (and your photo/video team quietly documenting it).
Pros of Doing a First Look
You Get a Private, Emotional Moment Together
Wedding days move fast. A First Look gives you a pause. You can laugh, cry, hug, swear, breathe – whatever comes naturally – without 150 people watching.
For couples who are nervous or deeply emotional, this alone can be a huge relief.
It Can Reduce Ceremony Nerves
Seeing your person beforehand often takes the edge off. You still feel the excitement during the ceremony, but it’s less “oh my god I’m going to pass out” and more grounded joy.
It Opens Up Your Timeline
This is the biggest logistical benefit.
With a First Look, you can:
- Do most or all portraits before the ceremony
- Knock out wedding party photos early
- Get family photos done sooner (depending on logistics)
That usually means more cocktail hour, less rushing, and more time enjoying your reception.
You Actually Get to Attend Cocktail Hour
Instead of disappearing for portraits, you can join your guests, grab a drink, and be present during one of the most relaxed parts of the day.
A Non-Traditional Pro of a First Look: Getting Ready Together
One of the most underrated perks of choosing a First Look?
You don’t have to be separated all morning.
Some couples opt to flip the script entirely and get ready together. That might look like:
- Sharing breakfast and coffee in the quiet before the chaos
- Reading private vows or letters at the start of the day
- Helping each other with final touches – cufflinks, jewelry, shoes
- Taking a deep breath together before stepping into the spotlight
It turns the morning into something deeply couple-centric, instead of two parallel timelines filled with nerves and noise.
For couples who value connection over tradition, this can be incredibly grounding. There’s no waiting. No anticipation spiraling. Just presence.
From a timeline standpoint, this often makes the day feel calmer and more intentional. You start the day together, move through portraits together, and enter the ceremony already centered in the fact that you’re a team.
It’s not for everyone – and that’s okay. But for couples who want their wedding day to feel less like a production and more like a shared experience, this approach can be incredibly meaningful
Cons of Doing a First Look
It Changes the Traditional Timeline
If you’ve always imagined that aisle moment as the first time, a First Look may not align with that vision – and that matters.
It Requires an Earlier Start
Hair, makeup, and getting ready usually need to happen earlier to make room for portraits before the ceremony. That can mean an earlier morning and a longer day overall.
It’s Not for Everyone
Some couples genuinely want the anticipation. The nerves. The drama. The full reveal in front of their people. If that’s you, forcing a First Look just for efficiency isn’t the move.
Will the Ceremony Still Feel Special Without an Aisle Reveal?
Short answer: yes.
Long answer: the energy is different, but not diminished. The ceremony moment still carries weight — especially with music, emotion, and the presence of your guests.
Many couples are surprised by how powerful it still feels, even after a First Look.
What Is a First Touch?
A First Touch is a great alternative for couples who want emotional connection without seeing each other before the ceremony.
Typically:
- You stand back-to-back, around a corner, or on opposite sides of a door
- You hold hands, talk, pray, exchange letters, or just breathe together
- You don’t actually see each other until the aisle
It’s intimate, grounding, and often incredibly emotional – without giving away the visual reveal.
Pros of a First Touch
You Get Connection Without Breaking Tradition
If the aisle reveal matters to you, a First Touch lets you keep it while still calming nerves beforehand.
It Fits Easily Into Most Timelines
A First Touch doesn’t require full portraits or major schedule shifts. It’s usually a short, intentional moment that happens close to the ceremony start.
It Can Feel Just as Meaningful
For some couples, hearing each other’s voices and holding hands is more powerful than seeing each other early.
Cons of a First Touch
It Doesn’t Save Much Time
Unlike a First Look, a First Touch doesn’t free up the timeline for portraits. Most photos still happen after the ceremony.
Portrait Time Still Happens Later
You’ll likely miss part of cocktail hour to get portraits done – which is totally fine, just something to plan for.
How These Choices Affect Your Wedding Day Timeline
With a First Look:
- Earlier getting-ready start
- Portraits mostly done before the ceremony
- Shorter photo time after ceremony
- More relaxed cocktail hour and reception flow
Without a First Look:
- Getting ready can start later
- Ceremony is the first reveal
- Portraits happen during cocktail hour
- Timeline feels more compressed, especially with large families
With a First Touch:
- Minimal timeline impact
- Emotional grounding before ceremony
- Portraits still scheduled after ceremony
None of these are wrong. They just create different pacing.
So… Should You Do a First Look?
Ask yourselves:
- Do we want a private moment or a public reveal?
- Are we more nervous or more excited?
- Do we value timeline flexibility or tradition more?
- Do we want to attend cocktail hour?
Your answers will point you in the right direction.
First Look, aisle reveal, First Touch – these are tools, not rules.
The best choice is the one that supports how you want to feel on your wedding day, not what you think you’re “supposed” to do.
Talk it through together. Consider your timeline. Trust your gut.
No matter which option you choose, the moment will be real – and that’s what actually matters.
